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How To Maintain Quality Tenants During a Zombie Apocolypse

In a market full of zombies I think it’s important that we address the quality of tenants in your rental properties during the current/future zombie apocalypse. I realize this may not seem important but the fact is if brain eaters take over our local markets we need to be prepared!! I have outlined 5 important items for your consideration in order to protect your investment property and maintain your quality of tenants during this crisis!

  1. Zombies are not a protected class! Feel free to reject any applicants who are zombies without worry of HUD violations if you so choose.
  2. Install razor wire fencing and security windows/doors on your property. Although there will be dozens or hundreds of zombies running rampant you will need to provide some additional protection for non zombie folks. They will definitely be more interested in your property than a property that does not protect them from brain eaters
  3. Don’t get lax on your minimum qualifications! Zombie or not, if your applicant is well qualified you want to do business with them! You don’t particularly care if they are eating people for dinner instead of pork as long as they are clean about it.
  4. Only accept month to month leases. Since zombies are a new phenomenon in real estate it’s best to approach with caution. It’s much easier to terminate a month to month lease than it is to deal with an eviction.
  5. Create a zombie addendum. This will be much like a pet addendum, possibly charge increased rent or a higher security deposit. This will help your new zombie occupants to understand your expectations of them.

This concludes my blog post on maintaining quality tenants during a zombie apocalypse. I hope this was an entertaining and light hearted post to make your Friday more entertaining! Please visit us at www.muldoonassociates.com!

Posted by: muldonassociates on March 29, 2013
Posted in: Uncategorized